As I look back, it is amazing how many more downs I have experienced. Abject failures really. Two failed marriages. I have been let go from three jobs, that is a nice way of saying fired though each had its own unique circumstances. As a result I have been out of work for two stretches of nearly a year each and during both stretches, homeless for a period of time. I have run two failed businesses and declared personal bankruptcy. And that is just scratching the surface.
As a result I am in debt up to my ears, make a lot of money and still live paycheck to paycheck, and have no savings or retirement saved up. I am at the bottom of my company's hierarchy with little real chance of advancement within Save A Lot. I am 54 years old with nothing to show for my professional career, I cannot help you out in your lives much and my financial future remains a complete mystery.
So why am I such a happy person?
That leads to my first advice:
- Love everyone in your life and invite into your life only people you can love. I have two ex-wives and still care deeply for both and would do anything for them. The cool thing is I am pretty sure they feel the same way. I have several former bosses and respect and care for all of them. I am pretty sure they feel the same way. I have several ex-colleagues and care for all of them. I have many acquaintances who I care deeply for as well. Former team mates, work mates, charity mates, school mates and other mates. I love them all, and even the bartender and waitress serving me here at this restaurant. And you know what, they can tell I love them and all love me back. People I have not spoken with in years call me for help and I help them. I call people I have not seen in years and they do me favors. When I needed a place to live, someone came through and provided it. When I needed a job, someone I knew provided it. When I need anything, someone has been there for me, BECAUSE I loved them and was there for them when they needed it. I helped them move, every time. I helped them connect to someone to perhaps get a job. I introduced them to that cute girl they kinda liked, even if I did not know them. I have always done whatever I could to help people out. Most important, reach out to those who no one seems to love and be their friend. Make your friends be their friend. Nothing makes lasting friendships like loving people who need to be loved; and that applies to everyone in life. Life it foremost about how many people you love and how many people love you back.
- Follow your emotions. There are only two emotions; one makes you feel bad and the other makes you feel good. We give them many names: anger, resentment, jealousy, joy, happiness, peace, contentment. Emotions are your guide to doing what is right. If it makes you feel good, to any degree, it is right. If it makes you feel bad, to any degree, it is not right. That is what following your heart means. Do the same for others. To the extent you can, think about how what you do will give them a positive emotion, but not if it gives you a negative emotion. Smile at everyone. Greet everyone. Make eye contact with friendly eyes. Shake everyone's hand firmly and warmly and mean it. Listen to others and care about what they say. Nothing makes others feel good like other people caring about them. The way the universe of all souls communicates with you is through your emotions. Listen. They are wise.
On the financial side, and I wish someone had convinced me of this long ago, but I am arrogant to a fault and I am sure I did not listen if they did, so here is some advice.
Save Money. Having money provides freedom. Pay yourself something out of every paycheck. Take the money your mother and I send you and put it in the bank and leave it there. Invest wisely and conservatively. Make this a fervent religious practice.
- Take Risks but Be Conservative. This does not mean do not take risks, even big ol' hairy risks. We did that in FertiGator. What I learned and advise is, in the parlance of a book I just finished, "shoot bullets first before you fire off a calibrated cannon ball." What that means is try some smaller risks first that help you to determine whether what you are considering will work, what are the problems that you can fix, what adjustments to your aim are required. Most of your little efforts will fail. The bullets will land in the dirt and miss their target. But each small failure will not cost much and will teach you things about where you are trying to go. It will help you calibrate your cannon ball. Once you figure out all the ways NOT to do it, and are confident you have the data you need to calibrate your cannonball so you will do it properly, aim it at the target, then go for it full speed ahead. Fire a big huge giant cannonball and put everything you have behind it. What we failed to do with FertiGator was shoot bullets first. We had a great product, but we made a fatal calculation error in the width of the plunger that caused it to stick. We would have known had we tested it more. We should have tried it in one market. We assumed that irrigation contractors would love this, but we found they were not capable of understanding the value or the process. We should have made it in the US first. The large volume Chinese manufacturer screwed it up over and over, killing our first year opportunities. We should have shot bullets first. We would have learned all of this with the money we raised and probably would still be in the business making millions. As important, we should have saved money for the uncertainties that were certain, and happened. We were not prepared for them.
- Smile, arrive early, stay late and work hard. Be a great team mate. If you do that, you will be so rare and desired that you will be paid more and promoted quickly. It is not about being the smartest, though you are both smart. It is about caring more than anyone thinks is wise about the company. And save money. No matter how good you are, sometimes you make your entire department so great that they leave the company for better pastures and the company no longer needs you. That happened to me at UHY Advisors. Save money for the uncertain times that WILL happen.
- Make Others Look Great in Front of the People Most Important to THEM! Your boss may take credit for things you have done. Let them! It is their job to take credit for your work! It is not how they should do it, but they will. Take this so seriously that you give them at least some concrete credit for things you have done alone, even when they give you credit. On the other hand, when you secure a leadership role, when you are the boss, give ALL the credit to your team when your team does things well. All of it. Take ALL of the blame personally when your team fails to accomplish its goal. NEVER blame others for things that you are responsible for that do not go well, and that will absolutely happen. Do this and you will become the go-to person for the most important tasks the company needs to accomplish and your team will go overboard for you. They never want you to take the bullet ever again for their errors. Have everyone else's back. There may be small incidents that do not seem to be going your way, but in the long run everyone will know what is going on and that you are the reason things are getting done. Be the solution, never the problem. And save money. No matter what you do, a great younger employee can be a threat to those above you, and they may do what they can to get rid of you before you take their job. If you have saved money, you can handle it.
- Forgive Everyone Always and Immediately. Accept everyone for who they are. Feel for those who are always negative. What a sucky life they lead. People who forgive, are healthier, happier and live longer. You cannot control how others are. You cannot change anyone. No one can control or effect your life UNLESS you let them. Always remember the Serenity Prayer. If you don't know it, look it up. Memorize it. Live it. And save money, because some things are outside your control.
And Finally - Save Money. Did I mention that one. Well that is really important, so do that one.
